Posts Tagged ‘Stupid People’

I am so interested to know who of her “friends” were really there for BabyAm when she was at her lowest. I would like to know who of her “friends” profess they support her and how her recovery comes first but still find it necessary to drunk text her. I know of 4 that checked on her, one out of state, one that stole her underwear and violated the privacy of her phone, another who isn’t doing so well either and then one that has shown he too…is a tool.

Interested to know how someone she cared about could put her in a potentially life altering position by taking her back to a place with so many triggers, used her and tossed her in the trash.

Interested to know why would anyone do those things to someone who is obviously vulnerable and in need of being supported and loved for who she is and where she is, without ANY temptations including but not limited to drugs…alcohol…or sex.

Interested to know why some of our friends have drifted and or are hiding from us. Do they think we have something they or their children can catch? Idiots. It’s not the common cold or a rash. It’s addiction. What are YOU ADDICTED TO? Porn? Oreos? Control?

People suck.

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Unfortunately the weekend didn’t go how I would have hoped.   I was actually happy to see it come to an end if the truth be known.  Never thought I’d say that.  Never in a million years.

The most bothersome of the weekend that was an assumption about a friend of ours.  A great friend.   An assumption that just made my head explode.   It was handled so poorly to begin with that it just spiraled out of control, which sent my blood pressure through the roof, and my heart to my sleeve yet again.   I wear it there a good portion of the time, sadly.

I honestly believe that if you want to judge me.   Fine.  Enjoy yourself.  You’re the one missing out, and you’re the one who’s true colors are seen very vividly.  But when you start judging my friends, that is when you’ve really stuck a knife in my gut…

I’ll admit freely, that I am one who actually does judge a book by it’s cover.  An actual book…that you read…with paper and words in it.   Mostly because I’m not an avid reader and if the cover and 2 paragraph summary doesn’t catch my attention, I know I won’t read it and move on to the next one.  HOWEVER, when it comes to people.  Living, breathing, walking, talking people…THAT is something that I have learned (yes, learned…the hard way) to never do.

I don’t care what you look like.  I don’t care what color your skin, eyes or hair is.  I don’t care if you are into classical music or doom metal.  I really could care less if you are tattooed, pierced or as plain jane as they come.   Whether you are working or not, have a Ferrari or a bicycle.  That means nothing to me about your character.

What I care about is how you treat people, how loving and caring is your heart.   Would you be there for me if I needed you?  Would you stand up for me, would you put your reputation on the line?  Would you welcome me in if it was cold, or a ride home if it was raining?  Would you trust me with your children, and that I can trust you with mine?  Are your morals equal to mine?  Are my personal thoughts and feelings safe with you?

I truly believe that it’s not about the outside, it’s about what’s on the inside that counts.  Said so many times, but is it ever described…is it really something people believe, or do they just say it when it’s convenient?   I know that I live it.

If you know me, really know me.  I think you would shake your head and say “Yes, she does live it”.  If you don’t, I hope you know it now.  I don’t like hypocrites, I don’t like people who are racist, I don’t like people who are judgmental and ignorant.

I am proud of the company I keep.  I am obviously protective too.  I hope that the next time you look at someone who looks differently than you, that you stop and wonder how HUGE their heart is, or what pain they might have been/are going through.  Because, it’s those that hide it, who keep their guard up (in what ever way), those that choose to be different…that I have found to be the most genuine.

When you judge my friends, you judge me…and that is something I take very personally.  My friends and family are my most precious treasures.

Today is a good Monday.  I put into words my feelings and I’m going to share it with all of you.

Contrary to what some may think.  I am not an idiot. I hate when people who don’t know me, talk down to me.

I may not know a handful of things, but when I finally have done everything I can to make sure that the problem is NOT F’ing MINE…and I bring it to the attention of someone who is supposed to be there to help me. I really wish they would do their job!  I am seriously not trying to waste your time.

Now I know why some people just can’t take it anymore and go in to their place of business, or somewhere else that they have not gotten the CUSTOMER SERVICE that they should have received, and blow the place to smithereens – people included!

I have an extreme lack of patience today. Isn’t that obvious?

I heard this song today.   I love it.   I love her voice, I love the name of the song, I love the lyrics and I love that it is meant for all the Punks out there.   And this one I personally dedicate for my daughter to everyone’s favorite Punk.

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Christina Perri – Jar of Hearts

I know I can’t take one more step towards you
Cause all that’s waiting is regret
And don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you’re asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you’re back
You don’t get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Just a few things I thought I’d share…

The End.

My husband sent me this picture today, via email.  

His subject line read:  “What’s wrong with this picture?”  And attached THIS.

007 Night in the Honda

Mind you, it was “007 Night” with the AXiD Girls.   I’m not sure exactly what they did other than go downtown, all dressed in black and play some –possibly more adult –version (if there is such a thing) of Hide ‘n’ Seek.  

We count 8.  But there could be others.  I’m sure you can tell who’s driving?!?  OMG.

I must admit however; I did know (sort of) because BabyAm was telling me about the evening; that at one time during the evening “we had the car piled full of girls”…and I told her in no uncertain terms “do not not tell me any more, just know that it is illegal and NEVER do it again.”   She understood (I’m sure by the tone of my voice) and vowed that would be the last time.

She has Facebook to thank for the above picture (she did NOT post it).  Now Dad has seen it.  Thankfully, I used one of my “Get out of Jail – FREE” cards with him today, since I knew and just accidentally on purpose forgot to tell him about any of it.  I understood the little chit-chat he had with me, and vowed that would be the last time.

Facebook knows when you are sleeping,
it knows when you’re awake,
it knows if you’ve been bad or good…
SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

tagged

What a can of worms this will open!  You just wait and see.

Headless Mom tagged me on Saturday for The Completely Honest meme.  I should have known she would tag me…to be completely honest (lol)…because I just have not been posting enough on a regular basis, and this is her way of being sneaky and getting me back to what’s important.  *giggle giggle*

I didn’t really jump on this meme too quickly for a number of reasons.  The main one was time.  I just have not had time.  But another was because I wanted to take a look back and see what kinds of things everyone else shared.  I am kind of a cheater like that.

I guess I’m supposed to list off 10 things about me that I have NEVER told anyone, except maybe my Hubby.  And also be completely honest about them…then tag 7 people.   Both I think are going to be tough.

  1. I know that my way of parenting is not everyone else’s way…but I really wish it was, because some people (and their kids) just piss me off.  Self-Centered Much? 
  2. I love that Hubby works for himself, but sometimes I wish I could intervene and “tell off” (and not in a very nice way) a few of his clients that purposely take advantage of him.
  3. I fight my addictive personality every.single.day and additionally am so very thankful that I didn’t follow the wrong path years ago when I had the chance.
  4. I hate men who don’t take full responsibility for taking care of (in every way), and are an integral part of raising their daughters.  I think there is a special place in hell for them.  I am angry that my ex-husband doesn’t help in any way, taking care of BabyAm…and because we make too much money for financial aid, we have to pay for college 100% while her step-sister is going to the same college with aid.  Additionally, college pisses me off because middle class parents don’t qualify, and are also the ones who work NOT to have debt (student loans)…urg!
  5. I struggle with my sailor mouth minute by minute.  I wish I would have paid more attention in school so I could cuss someone out with intelligence instead of being vulgar and offensive.  And express my frustrations without being foul.
  6. I am realizing how much things change within our lives and our health as we get older.   I know that (almost) 40 is not old…BUT, I am already afraid of the changes I see happening…forgetfulness, achy, eyesight changing constantly (instead of every year), parental role reversal; not having Mommy take care of me…but now the tables are turned and I am taking care of Mommy (when she needs it). 
  7. I have at least 30 of these 35 Symptoms, and it’s really bothering me.  I haven’t been for a regular checkup in at least 5 years, and I am afraid to go because I don’t want to hear either of these two things.  (No you’re not going through this early, or yes you’re going through this early.)  Just fix it already!
  8. The insomnia that I am experiencing is enough to make me scream.  I would except I’d wake up the rest of the house. They say that insomnia is one of the side effects of quitting smoking…it’s been 114 days.   No patches or anything for at least 60 of those days.  (by the way it’s 2:47am at this moment)
  9. I know that it’s time for us to downsize into a smaller house.  That’s a tough realization.  Partially because I hate to admit it, but I do NOT enjoy trying to keep it clean/picked up…whatever!  And partially because I know we don’t need this much room…our baby is now rarely home, sometimes I think she just needs a place to shower and crash for a few hours.
  10. And now, for that special treat…

can-o-wormsAlthough I am terrified at what my Mom and the rest of my family might think…I absolutely want to cover both my arms in “sleeve” tattoos (sooner, not later!)

*important side note:  bills, child support, college, sorority etc…all get paid before the tattoos get done…please DO NOT be mistaken here!

I can’t not believe I actually was able to come up with 10 very honest things about me, it did take a good amount of time and effort, so finally…I get to tag 7 people.

I don’t have too many faithful followers that I’m aware of…but the few that I know do read me and I am now tagging are:

  1. Mrs. Potts @ Confessions of a Tea Snob because I need to teach her how to link to things and this would be as good of a time as any.  She might have a few things she’d like to share. And she’s been trying to blog more lately…so she needs a little encouragement I think.
  2. Deb @ Just Breathe because she seems to have fun with Meme’s and I like that she and Skye are always sharing fun things!  Why not share a few more? 
  3. Carol Anne @ Soapboxville because she is already as honest as they come, and I enjoy hearing her perspective on everything.
  4. My friend Kristen @ New Journey because I want her to make her blog public (you might not be able to go there yet), so that you all can see her darling new little one…ok, she’s not little anymore.  AND because she is so “scary honest” anyway.  I’m dyin to hear her 10 things!
  5. Ok, so I double tag Kelly @ Something Funny Happened Today, because she has double tagged me before…AND she’s still not completed her tag from Headless Mom!  Come on Kelly, you are WAY behind.  September…really? 
  6. Melissa @ Spoiled Mommy because she’s been such fun to get to know.  I know how busy she’s been with the new business and all…so I’m not sure if she’ll wanna participate.
  7. And lastly but of course not least…my sweet friend in Chile who has not blogged regularly in quite some time…Leslie @ Got Kids Need Valium.  

terrified-mary

Sometimes I get so frustrated with our state…here is just another example of what someone believes is justice. 

I can not believe that this is a real/true article. 

Former Sheriff’s Deputy charged with Sexual battery of a 16-year-old girl and procuring prostitution…and gets away with it (basically).  Read about it here.

I however think it’s absurd.  Really.

Not only did the kids make it through the day, after giving their presentations (which by the way we will not know if they passed for at least a week, or more)…BUT tonight we also got one more necessary thing accomplished!

THE FINAL & ONLY PROM DRESS, has been picked out (after so many were tried on)…it has been paid for (Thanks to my wonderful Mommy-CJ, and Belly Dump—sweet of them huh?), and it has also been brought home (and hopefully hung up).  

We also got BabyAm some cute black wedges (shoes) to go with it.  (She’ll be able to wear them with Jeans too!) Now all we have left is the jewelry!   Thankfully we have a couple weeks.   Prom is May 2nd. 

Wish I could give you a sneak peek…but I can’t! – We did get it at Macy’s though, and got a super deal, seriously!  WooHooo!!!!!!  It’s an amazing dress, very flattering and very cleopatra chic.  

I however am exhausted after this evening.  I’m fighting a headache, and drinking tea…bed is next.

OH!  Before I forget, have you ever been “86’d” from a dress shop?   Well, I have, if you can believe it?!   I’m still in denial about the whole thing.  So, we went into this dress shop in the mall.   It’s all beautiful beaded Indian (India) dresses (Prom, Wedding, etc…)  Anyway, the owner of the place, after BabyAm tried on several dresses, (in his accent) basically said this to us;  “You no try on anymore dresses, you pick from what you have”…I said, “She can’t try on anymore dresses?” and he responded “No, you pick from what you have”…I don’t believe it.   That store had dresses priced from $100 up to $2000+, and  he didn’t want our money????   Ok, whatever dude.

Some people!

You didn’t answer the phone for me today when I called.  Somehow I knew you wouldn’t.   You always answer when I call.   You must know that I am in shock, and that I do not agree with your decision.   I need to get this out, and I’m afraid it won’t come out so nicely on the phone.  So I’ll spare you.

I am not judging you.   It is not my place to judge.  You know I’m not that way.   Though you are my Ex, you are more like my brother, and I feel like I am losing my brother, this is the part that is the hardest for me.  I’m very sad. 

I was so proud of you, and so happy for you.   You are 6 months sober.  (Please, please, please don’t lose that piece of your identity!)  You were finally away from the drama, pain and hurtfulness of your marriage.    You were moving on, and seemed so excited about it.  We all were excited for you.   What happened?

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She is a manipulator.   You know everything that I could possibly say to you is true, and you have said it all yourself.  You have been (once again) blinded by her lies, and you are the only one that can do anything about it.   She is using your love for her, to get what she wants until she is done with you and then the cycle will start all over.

We have been friends for 22 years now.  I’ve always been there to support your decisions.  I wish I could support you now, but not this time.  You did what you needed to do for “YOUR” (other family), and I have to let it go.  

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I have to do it for BabyAm.  I have to do it for her…

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…and for “OUR” family.