Archive for April, 2010

It’s all fun and games until someone…

  • looses an eye?
  • falls down the stairs?
  • has hair coming back in GREY?


My hair is coming back in VERY dark. Scary dark. (The pictures below don’t show it though) I really had no idea. I’m not sure why it’s bothering me so much. I seriously don’t believe the crap about Blondes having more fun, so what’s the problem here people???

I was sittin on the love-seat a week or so ago and Hubby jokingly (really he was joking) said that from where he was standing, I looked like an old man from behind… COME ON!

Say it isn’t so…this is what he saw…well from the top anyway…

It is so, isn’t it…?

And then last night, he took a couple picture of my head again…
only this time to show me that the Old Man he saw before,
might just be table condiments.

Salt an’ Peppa! AHHHH!!!!

I complain, whine and moan, but nothing can compare to what KK is going through.   Last night GI Jane’s Facebook said that Momma had a couple bald patches…which sucks.  The doctor told her that it wouldn’t be long after starting Chemo  about 12-18 days, and today is day 12.   Man its so strange how they can be right on the nose with crap like this.

Please keep KK and her family in your prayers, this journey for them is just beginning and it’s going to be a very long one.   Yesterday the announcement was reported (finally in the media) that GI Jane leaves for Iraq in September.   This totally could not have come at a worse time.  Thankfully KK has a great support team and GI Jane knows we’ll take great care of her Momma.

*according to our President’s campaign, he was going to have the troops ALL out of Iraq by May

Barack Obama will work with military commanders on the ground in Iraq and in consultation with the Iraqi government to end the war safely and responsibly within 16 months.

This is a direct quote from the Obama Campaign Website under “Ending the War Responsibly”

…ya we’ll just add that one to the long list of broken promises*

And lastly, there is no nice way to say this but, for those of you who know me personally, I am not a lover of political discussions and I know you will understand where I am coming from and is not meant for you.  This is my blog, and if you want to have any sort of political conversation with me, or leave me nasty comments because of the above quote…don’t bother, I will delete them.

I know that no matter what I do, there will always be critics.

I love to laugh.
I love to hang with fun people.
I love to share knowledge.
I love to see people happy.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…
~The Little Engine that Could

If you rain on my parade, I’ll assume you have no parade of your own!

I think I am officially Full of It.   But what is “IT”?  I don’t know.  Random crap.   Lately that’s about all I can muster up, no real full circle thoughts. None of this is meant to sound bitchy.  I’m just actually trying to clear my head.

I am not sure if it’s emotional overload or if it is age.

Speaking of Age.  40 is nearing.  Quickly I might add.   I want 40 to be something exciting to look forward to.  Any ideas?   I will be heading into this decade with salt and pepper looking stubble on my head, and the dark is absolutely a mystery to be honest.   I realize I haven’t seen my real hair color since probably junior high…but come on…it’s really dark.   The grey, it is from all the excitement I have had experiencing the wonders of motherhood, and I’m hoping it will stop now that I’ve done the hardest part.  I have…right?   0-18 years?  It’s all downhill from here…anyone, anyone?

One would think I’m having a mid-life crisis…getting a “sleeve” tattoo.  I mentioned I wanted one, here at the bottom of the post, but I am sure no one really thought that I would actually follow through.   I am.

I’ve been having work done on it since the beginning of December 09.   I think it’s a total of 8 appointments all together, and I have 4 more left.  Should be done mid June.  I have an appointment on the 27th, then two in May (11th, 27th) and one in June (16th) that should finish it off.  I’m excited. It’s looking great.  But I really do not think it’s a mid-life crisis.  I think it’s something that is mine, mine alone that I can not only control, but that no one can take away from me.  (Selfish?  Maybe.)

Control.  I can’t control the weather, or the traffic, or the way I would hope my daughter would carry herself.   I can’t control the way others think of me, or treat me.  I can’t control when I’m going to get sick with a cold, the flu, or like when I sprained my ankle.  Who knew?   That was one little TRIP I didn’t need to take.

So many things can be ripped right out from underneath us, our lives for one because we don’t know when God will call for us. And what about our minds, Alzheimer’s doesn’t discriminate.  Our jobs, this economy is not stable and business’ fold, those who don’t fold, have made serious cut-backs, or get bought out.  People everywhere are concerned.  Our health, just like getting sick with a cold is basically uncontrollable, but on a much more serious note…I can’t control which of my family or friends will get cancer.  I can’t control whether or not -“I” – will get cancer.

I can control what art (tattoos) I choose to be put on my body.  I can also choose how often I want to feel the pain, and if I can/can’t afford it.  It is something that I can choose to cover up, or show off.   And no one, can take it away from me.  It’s mine.   When God calls for me, it will go with me, and I’m sure he and I will visit about it (all of my art).  And that’s ok, he might have tattoos too… (please don’t leave me nasty comments or scripture, I have heard them all…it’s a joke people!)

Marriages.  I have questions and random thoughts about people and their marriages.   I wonder how many people out there really honestly have great marriages anymore.   And with that word “anymore”…how many, way back when, really did?   What possess someone to stay married when they are being mentally, emotionally, and/or physically abused?   I know that they probably love that person, but love yourself enough to get out.

Ask yourself, would I want my daughter/son in an abusive relationship like this?   What would I tell them to be doing about it?…  Why can’t every marriage be happy and fun, similar to mine?

No, that is not us, but it looks like fun huh?

Relationships.   Dysfunction seems to be the norm, through my eyes anyway.

Dysfunction in parent/child relationships.  That one is tough for me, it strikes a cord with me in a couple ways.

Parents who will never see their child as an adult, to other parents that have never really been parents at all (the absent parent), or the “not my son/daughter” parents.   All are people who are really missing out on so many important places in the lives of their children.   I am not perfect, please do not think I am tootin my own horn here, all I want is for some people to “open their eyes”…it’s amazing what they would see.

Disrespect in parent/child relationships.   Why is it tolerated for children to be disrespectful to their parents and/or other adults in this generation?   (I’m not talking about my kids here in this specific instance)   Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not asking for “yes maam/no maam” but I would appreciate something even along the lines as “yes, I’ll mow the lawn I know you just had surgery” instead of “I don’t know how to mow the lawn, I’m going to (fill in the blank here)”.   Yes, I know of several kids that talk to their parents this way.   And I could go on forever.   In this instant, mom has too much on her plate, and dad falls into the mental/emotional abuse category above so he’s no help.

Friendships.   Why is it that we have friends that we can talk openly about our marriages to, friends that we talk about our kids and the things that we’re dealing with, and friends that we share hobbies with.   Then we have other friends that we party with, that we shop with, that we commensurate with or that we go to church with.   Friends that we can laugh with, that we are hyper with, that we are mellow with.   Friends that we share trials with, that we lean on, that we’re there for and we know will be there for us.  How many of us have that “one” someone in our life that fulfills all those things?  Very few, I’m sure.

Facebook.   Facebook I have a lot of issues with you.   I love you.  I hate you.  I want to take a break from you.  I enjoy my time with you.  Conflicting isn’t it.   Facebook takes time away from BabyAm’s studying which makes it very hard for me to visit, when I don’t think she should be there…why is it ok for me?   I love seeing pictures of friends both old and new.  I love some of the words of wisdom that friends post.   I love being able to say what’s on my mind sometimes.

I don’t enjoy the games people play, Mafia Wars, Farmville etc.   Now, I have hidden them from my newsfeed as they pop up however, why should I be someone’s friend on FB if I have not seen them actually post anything in weeks, but when I look at their profile, they’ve been on…all day, everyday, but playing stupid games????   Didn’t they friend me because they wanted to actually stay in touch?   I want to delete you.

Why, if I wasn’t your friend in school, in the “hood”, or at work…are you wanting to be my FB friend?  Do you just want to see  pictures of my house, of my family, see what I do for a living, or in my personal time?   I wouldn’t invite you over for a BBQ (because we don’t really know each other), so why do I want you in my “circle” here?

If I have actually ignored you on FB, there is a reason I’m sure.   It could have been that I wasn’t in the mood to “catch up”. It could have been because we didn’t get along, or we weren’t friends.  It also could be because I am friends with people who are very private people and don’t prefer you knowing everything about them.  Whatever the case, don’t call me on the carpet with why I ignored you.   It wasn’t because I hate you, it wasn’t that you aren’t welcome in my life, it’s that my FB is just that, mine.  I don’t want to be judged, humiliated or stalked.

Does that make me stuck up, or just private?  Either way.  I don’t care.  I’m too old to care.

I need a cup of tea.  Tea fixes everything.

My bloggy friends are the BOMB!

Thank you so much for all your love and support for me and for KK.

I love you all! I have had a very depressed couple days, and you all have made it so much better, with your kind words and gestures…

Man I wish we all lived closer!

Ticken, ticken…into the future…

That’s how I’m feeling right now. 2:15 am. Why am I still up?

Just watched Blindside – Great Movie

Posted (on FB) Head Shaving Party Pix – Hysterical

Insomnia still reigns; but getting better.

Realized I missed a dear friends son’s birthday party today…it is always on a sunday tho – what a loser of a friend. I haven’t called to apologize yet. I feel like such a jerk.

BabyAm is dealing with issues from the past – Hope she comes to terms with it all soon, and is satisfied with the results.

Trying to help raise funds for the Race for the Cure – Wanna donate? Click the pink ribbon on my page.

I am now bald. Scared at what color my hair will come back as. I haven’t seen my natural color (probably in 20 years or more). Hubby either.

I will never stare at a bald woman or child ever again. (Not that I did it on purpose) I will never wonder about their circumstances, I will just smile and know that they are awesome regardless of why.

GI Jane has a mohawk. I should have kept mine…if only I was 20 years younger. At least now I can say I had one…(if only for an hour)

Somedays life is good.
Somedays it sucks.

Today just is.